9 ways parents can support performance & mental well-being in youth sports

“Ninety percent of the game is half mental.” - Yogi Berra

Yogi Berra, the hall of fame Yankees catcher was well known for his colloquial expressions that often lacked logic but he might have been onto something with this memorable quote.  Sports can often be seen for the athleticism, skill and talent that it takes to play the game.  What often gets overlooked is the mental strength it takes to perform at a high level.  Athletes perform their best when their physical and mental health are at its peak.  

What does this have to do with our kids?   If you have children that participate in sports or are thinking about having your child participate, the benefits are there.  Research shows that children who are physically inactive are twice as likely to experience mental health problems as those who meet weekly recommendations.  

Youth sports have become a vehicle for parents to push their kids to the limit.  In a short amount of time during childhood, participating in sports can move very quickly from a fun weekend activity to playing on a team 5 days a week.  Whether realistic or not, the possibility and potential of using sports to get into a better high school, college, or even play professionally have caused some families to turn their children’s favorite sport into an investment or possible career.  In many cases, it’s no longer fun for the kid and can also impact their mental health.    

Children who are involved in sports have fewer emotional and behavioral problems and research shows that sports will help their mental health.  However, parents that put too much pressure on their kids can make them anxious, embarrassed, or stressed.  Supporting children's mental health in youth sports is crucial for their overall well-being and enjoyment of the experience.  Here are some ways parents can provide support and prevent burnout while helping their children develop and have fun:

1.Open communication: 

Encourage open and honest conversations with your child about their experiences, feelings, and challenges in sports. Create a safe and non-judgmental space where they can freely express themselves.  Support them unconditionally throughout their experiences.  Don’t cheer your kids on only if they make a basket or get a hit.  If you cheer, cheer for their effort, teamwork, and when they support their teammates as well.  

2.Manage expectations: 

Help your child set realistic expectations and goals based on their abilities and interests. Avoid pressuring them to achieve specific outcomes like scoring a goal or hitting a home run or comparing them to others. Focus on their personal growth and enjoyment of the sport.  Ask them “what did you like about practice today?”  Or “what’s your favorite part about playing on this team?”  You’ll be able to get a sense if this sport, program or team is the right fit for your child.  If it’s a struggle to get them out the door or to the field / court, it’s probably not the right fit.  

3. Foster a balanced approach: 

Emphasize the importance of balancing sports with other aspects of life, such as academics, friendships, and hobbies. Having other interests does not take away from sports but instead, offers the opportunity to develop and enjoy other activities.  Encourage them to engage in activities outside of sports to maintain a well-rounded lifestyle.  

4. Promote self-care: 

Teach your child the importance of self-care and stress management techniques. Encourage them to rest, eat well, and get enough sleep. Teach them coping strategies like deep breathing, visualization, or mindfulness exercises to handle pressure or anxiety.

5. Be a positive role model: 

Set a positive example by displaying good sportsmanship, resilience, and a healthy attitude towards competition. Avoid negative behaviors like yelling at coaches, referees, or other players, as it can negatively impact your child's experience.  These experiences, both positive and negative, will stay with your child for a very long time.  Let the coaches coach and don’t coach from the sidelines.  Even if what you’re saying is right, your child will need to learn to take direction from their coaches which will help them later on in life.  Ask yourself, would you be doing this if this was your child’s math class?  Would you be yelling instructions at them that are different from their teachers?  Don’t be that overzealous parent who ruins the entire experience for your child.  Sometimes, the hardest thing for a parent to do is nothing.      

6. Support their autonomy: 

Allow your child to make decisions and have a say in their sports activities. Encourage their independence, problem-solving skills, and decision-making abilities, while providing guidance when needed.  Helicopter parents will eventually take the fun out of the game for their children.  Do they want to do extra drills in the backyard or are you making your child do them?  You may have been the quarterback of your high school team, it doesn’t mean your child will want the same life.  Provide emotional support without passing your anxiety or injecting your own experiences or past failures with sports onto them.

7.Provide perspective: 

Help your child understand that sports are not solely about winning or losing but about personal growth, skill development, teamwork, and having fun. Encourage them to focus on their efforts, improvement, and the joy of participating rather than solely on outcomes.

8. Build a strong support network: 

Encourage your child to build positive relationships with coaches, teammates, and other parents. A supportive network can provide encouragement, motivation, and a sense of belonging, contributing to their overall well-being.  Even at a young age, have your child join a small group where they’ll be able to connect with their friends and coaches and have a fun experience.  

9. Recognize and address signs of stress or burnout: 

Be attentive to any signs of excessive stress, burnout, or emotional distress in your child.  Sometimes your child may just be tired, or had a long day at school.  However, if you notice a pattern or changes in behavior, mood swings, decreased interest, or withdrawal from sports, consider seeking professional help from a mental health provider.

Remember, every child is unique, and it's essential to tailor your support based on their individual needs and preferences.  Sports is just one activity that can help your child grow physically, mentally, and emotionally.  As difficult as it may seem at times to not get involved, take the opportunity to sit back and watch them learn.  By prioritizing their mental health, you can help them develop a positive and lifelong relationship with sports.

In closing, here’s a video from the late Kobe Bryant highlighting some of the points above.